1 Jeepney and a gay

ola cows! i want to share with you a funny (on hindsight) event that happened to me. it is a diane moment if there ever was one. so last friday, i went to Rockwell to watch the new James Bond flick (PHANTOM of Solace, according to my friend). But since i'm cheap, i decided to take the jeep! I quickly regretted my decision.

As soon as i entered the tightly packed jeep. i knew something was amiss. only when i sat in the middle did i realize--it was a jeep filled with gay comedian impersonators! O-M-G. i find them funny but i vowed never to be on the receiving end of their quick quips. too late. i didn't know my seat was specially picked for me. i was a corralled beside the queen bee--she was as gay as they get! she wasn't in costume tho but i swear, i almost feared for my life, or at least my dignity. I didnt want to look at him, trying to avoid contact as much as possible but i did know she was wearing shorts (or maybe a skirt, i can't be sure) sooo short that it was like he was just in a nightie. he was flailing his legs at me. He was squatting at times and shaking his booty in my direction while i looked away. he was talking to me in english, making small talk. he even sang 'Maging Sino Ka Man' to me ala ASAP or SOP! he was talking about me and addressing the crowd like he was in a show:

1. "Buti sinara mo yung ilaw kuya" (talking to the driver when the jeep went dark)
2. "Etong si kuya (me), di ko lang bibigyan ng load, bibigyan ko ng cellphone! (to which his colleagues replied "Pano mo gagawin yun e ikaw mismo walang cellphone!")
3. "Whereyooprom kuya? Bisitahin mo ko sa bahay ko. O punta ka sa club namin sa may DFA. Sa Parliament (i think). Kay Lacson yun, pag may dala kang 10 thousand pesos, pag labas mo ten pesos na lang, kulang pa pamasahe mo."
4. On his repartee with this other passenger: "Ikaw matanda ka na! Si kuya malakas pa."
5. "Pinagpapawisan na bay*g ko!"
6. And the usual "Lalake ako pare. Pa kiss nga."

the crowd wasn't much help, they were the ones egging him on to sit on my lap and to sing the Sharon Cuneta hit. And they were all laughing like mad! To top it all off, it was SUPER traffic. It took me twice as long to get to Rockwell but it felt like eternity. Good thing his attention was divided between me, this other older passenger which could be his real love interest, and what looked like a Japanese passenger in a taxi behind us who he was harassing. In fairness to him, he asked me if it was OK to do what he was doing. i just nodded silently. i didn't want to provoke him in any way! And i didn't dare take out my cellphone. :D

Good thing Rockwell eventually drew near and i tried to get out as defensively as i could. I'm sure they were all sad to see me go but i couldn't be more relieved. the movie was good, but i have to admit that the highlight of the night was the ride to Rockwell. the journey c ould be more memorable than the destination. :D

that's all cows! i hope you found happiness in my misfortune! hahaha. take care!

Summer 2008

Aaron and I have very different opinions about the term "room temperature". Unfortunately I got outvoted at home.. not to say that I was entirely defeated. By and by I've found ways to customize our 2nd-floor bedroom temperature. A special thank you to father science, for allowing Aaron to believe for over 2 weeks that it was due to the fact that *warm air rises*

Attempt #1: My Goodwill Donation

Attempt #2: "but that's YOUR gym stuff"

Attempt #3: "There was no more space in the fridge"

Attempt # 4: "The dog did it"

lady bugs

everytime i go for a smoke here in our Atlanta office i get bitten by these tiny bugs. interesting enough, i found out that it only bites females. unbelievable! sexual discrimination!!

da son of da boy

with all this news about the untimely demise of rudy "da boy" fernandez, my officemates said i look like teh one encircled, except kulot. hahaha. i personally dont think so...

reading assignment

after-dinner conversation

Aaron (to Brian): I'm very excited to read this massive book I just got tonight
Diane: the bible?
Aaron: no, it's something called "How to Dominate and Overpower your wife"

hahaha. Thicker than the bible then

Ode to Scratchy

For several months, we were haunted by the pitter-patter of little feet and scratchy noises emanating from the attic. We thus fondly referred to the unknown thing as Scratchy. Aaron, as landlord, called up the "Critter Catchers" to determine the nature of the problem (i.e raccoon, chipmunk, wolverine...) and through close examination of its excrement, they deduced the animal to be a squirrel.

For an extra $50-charge they would've caught the creature, but Aaron figured he could do it himself (of course). And he did successfully trap it: he blocked its passage to the outside resulting in its untimely demise right above our bedroom. (quite melodramatic and vengeful for a rodent)

When springtime came, the lengthened days saw to the thawing of the ice and to the decomposition of Scratchy's body as well; and the home that had once been cured of Scratchy's careless dance moves now endured the wrath of his rancid ghost.

Enter: the Fellowship, nay, the Order of the Dead Squirrel (move over ghostbusters). They are an elite force that would banish the odor of destruction and decay, literally.

(That's my husband on the left wearing my swimming goggles as part of his uniform)

Below: the grandmaster-catcher carrying top-of-the-line equipment

Victory: target exhumed

Scratchy: May you rest in peace, babe.

Writings on the Wall (A Welcome Home Tribute)

All but the orange were written and pasted by my "special" someone :)

from "Josh":

from Julissa:

from the "homeowners association":

from "Datta":

And the pièce de résistance:

making tawad the diva

kakaiba. siya, slang managalog :)

diva: hi aaron
aaron: kamusta
diva: oks lang ba dyan?
aaron: ooh [oo]
aaron: hineko [hay nako]
aaron: wog mo akong pakelaman
diva: hahahaha
diva: i love it
diva: you're good
aaron: I'm getting better
aaron: I can say broom now and that's too expensive
aaron: mahal mashadow
diva: asan na ang inaanak ko pare?
aaron: we're working on it
aaron: I need someone to clean this house
aaron: and someone to mow the lawn
aaron: so she definitely needs to have a baby soon
diva: ako nalang ang yaya mo
aaron: yeah!!!!
aaron: we will pay you with kamaties
aaron: and patatas
aaron: and gattas
aaron: you'll be rich!
aaron: vegetable rich
diva: hahahahaha!
diva: wow

ommm

I came back to yoga class today, I did much better than day 1...
They'd asked us to close our eyes, relax and breathe deeply: I awoke to find the others in the perched egret position.

At least I didn't drool or meow in my sleep.