1 Jeepney and a gay

ola cows! i want to share with you a funny (on hindsight) event that happened to me. it is a diane moment if there ever was one. so last friday, i went to Rockwell to watch the new James Bond flick (PHANTOM of Solace, according to my friend). But since i'm cheap, i decided to take the jeep! I quickly regretted my decision.

As soon as i entered the tightly packed jeep. i knew something was amiss. only when i sat in the middle did i realize--it was a jeep filled with gay comedian impersonators! O-M-G. i find them funny but i vowed never to be on the receiving end of their quick quips. too late. i didn't know my seat was specially picked for me. i was a corralled beside the queen bee--she was as gay as they get! she wasn't in costume tho but i swear, i almost feared for my life, or at least my dignity. I didnt want to look at him, trying to avoid contact as much as possible but i did know she was wearing shorts (or maybe a skirt, i can't be sure) sooo short that it was like he was just in a nightie. he was flailing his legs at me. He was squatting at times and shaking his booty in my direction while i looked away. he was talking to me in english, making small talk. he even sang 'Maging Sino Ka Man' to me ala ASAP or SOP! he was talking about me and addressing the crowd like he was in a show:

1. "Buti sinara mo yung ilaw kuya" (talking to the driver when the jeep went dark)
2. "Etong si kuya (me), di ko lang bibigyan ng load, bibigyan ko ng cellphone! (to which his colleagues replied "Pano mo gagawin yun e ikaw mismo walang cellphone!")
3. "Whereyooprom kuya? Bisitahin mo ko sa bahay ko. O punta ka sa club namin sa may DFA. Sa Parliament (i think). Kay Lacson yun, pag may dala kang 10 thousand pesos, pag labas mo ten pesos na lang, kulang pa pamasahe mo."
4. On his repartee with this other passenger: "Ikaw matanda ka na! Si kuya malakas pa."
5. "Pinagpapawisan na bay*g ko!"
6. And the usual "Lalake ako pare. Pa kiss nga."

the crowd wasn't much help, they were the ones egging him on to sit on my lap and to sing the Sharon Cuneta hit. And they were all laughing like mad! To top it all off, it was SUPER traffic. It took me twice as long to get to Rockwell but it felt like eternity. Good thing his attention was divided between me, this other older passenger which could be his real love interest, and what looked like a Japanese passenger in a taxi behind us who he was harassing. In fairness to him, he asked me if it was OK to do what he was doing. i just nodded silently. i didn't want to provoke him in any way! And i didn't dare take out my cellphone. :D

Good thing Rockwell eventually drew near and i tried to get out as defensively as i could. I'm sure they were all sad to see me go but i couldn't be more relieved. the movie was good, but i have to admit that the highlight of the night was the ride to Rockwell. the journey c ould be more memorable than the destination. :D

that's all cows! i hope you found happiness in my misfortune! hahaha. take care!