Oh shit...
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Addicts
I found out from my nieces that the latest in-thing (at least in Canada) has been to collect Lush* products.
*Lush is a store in the mall that you can smell from a 2-block radius. Individually, their products are [somewhat] fragrant, but as a chorus on the store shelf, they will overwhelm you with an experience of the quintessence present in every grandmother's perfume of choice.
(Brace yourself: flashbacks imminent)
The day after Xmas, the grownups of the household were out (Aaron and I were too lazy to wake up and go with them) so I woke the kids and made everyone breakfast in preparation for a trip to the mall afterwards.
At the table, the two girls started planning their would-be purchases. Aaron listened to them talk about 60 grams of this and 100 grams of that, so he thought he'd make some conversation:
"Are you talking about soap?" he asked them.
"No," i said to him in a loud whisper. "They're talking about cocain."
The two of us BURST out laughing!!!
... and my nieces looked at us like we were from another planet called Cincinnati.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Sige na, People!!
A year long hush?! Where are the odd stories for all our fans? Well "fan" - we had one but I think the flashing lights of the virtual world have long stolen his pocket-sized attention span from our grasp! Take my word for it: Chronic Clicking (and double-clicking) will someday out-fashion ADD.
Just got home from dinner and a side-trip to the gas station where our headlight cover was crushed by the driver of a brand new car that decided to back up against us instead of moving towards the road ahead. REALLY, the guy had 2 options - front / back - was it that challenging?
Anyway, everyone's so nice here, Aaron didn't even bother honking because he thought the other guy was just adjusting the car and would stop in time. It was actually me, with my Filipino-driver instincts, who pounced on the horn with the speed and agility of a one-million-dollar-chance-of-a-lifetime game show contestant.
[Gimme a] BEEEEEP!!!!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sledding & The Conversation After
Aaron: I didn't know this was your first sled ride. I'm glad you saved yourself, but I want you to know that I've... done this before.... many, many times.... with different people.
me: even guys?
Aaron: yes. I was... so young then. I didn't know any better [looks towards distant horizon]. He told me he had a big sled!
me: even guys?
Aaron: yes. I was... so young then. I didn't know any better [looks towards distant horizon]. He told me he had a big sled!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
1 Jeepney and a gay
ola cows! i want to share with you a funny (on hindsight) event that happened to me. it is a diane moment if there ever was one. so last friday, i went to Rockwell to watch the new James Bond flick (PHANTOM of Solace, according to my friend). But since i'm cheap, i decided to take the jeep! I quickly regretted my decision.
As soon as i entered the tightly packed jeep. i knew something was amiss. only when i sat in the middle did i realize--it was a jeep filled with gay comedian impersonators! O-M-G. i find them funny but i vowed never to be on the receiving end of their quick quips. too late. i didn't know my seat was specially picked for me. i was a corralled beside the queen bee--she was as gay as they get! she wasn't in costume tho but i swear, i almost feared for my life, or at least my dignity. I didnt want to look at him, trying to avoid contact as much as possible but i did know she was wearing shorts (or maybe a skirt, i can't be sure) sooo short that it was like he was just in a nightie. he was flailing his legs at me. He was squatting at times and shaking his booty in my direction while i looked away. he was talking to me in english, making small talk. he even sang 'Maging Sino Ka Man' to me ala ASAP or SOP! he was talking about me and addressing the crowd like he was in a show:
1. "Buti sinara mo yung ilaw kuya" (talking to the driver when the jeep went dark)
2. "Etong si kuya (me), di ko lang bibigyan ng load, bibigyan ko ng cellphone! (to which his colleagues replied "Pano mo gagawin yun e ikaw mismo walang cellphone!")
3. "Whereyooprom kuya? Bisitahin mo ko sa bahay ko. O punta ka sa club namin sa may DFA. Sa Parliament (i think). Kay Lacson yun, pag may dala kang 10 thousand pesos, pag labas mo ten pesos na lang, kulang pa pamasahe mo."
4. On his repartee with this other passenger: "Ikaw matanda ka na! Si kuya malakas pa."
5. "Pinagpapawisan na bay*g ko!"
6. And the usual "Lalake ako pare. Pa kiss nga."
the crowd wasn't much help, they were the ones egging him on to sit on my lap and to sing the Sharon Cuneta hit. And they were all laughing like mad! To top it all off, it was SUPER traffic. It took me twice as long to get to Rockwell but it felt like eternity. Good thing his attention was divided between me, this other older passenger which could be his real love interest, and what looked like a Japanese passenger in a taxi behind us who he was harassing. In fairness to him, he asked me if it was OK to do what he was doing. i just nodded silently. i didn't want to provoke him in any way! And i didn't dare take out my cellphone. :D
Good thing Rockwell eventually drew near and i tried to get out as defensively as i could. I'm sure they were all sad to see me go but i couldn't be more relieved. the movie was good, but i have to admit that the highlight of the night was the ride to Rockwell. the journey c ould be more memorable than the destination. :D
that's all cows! i hope you found happiness in my misfortune! hahaha. take care!
As soon as i entered the tightly packed jeep. i knew something was amiss. only when i sat in the middle did i realize--it was a jeep filled with gay comedian impersonators! O-M-G. i find them funny but i vowed never to be on the receiving end of their quick quips. too late. i didn't know my seat was specially picked for me. i was a corralled beside the queen bee--she was as gay as they get! she wasn't in costume tho but i swear, i almost feared for my life, or at least my dignity. I didnt want to look at him, trying to avoid contact as much as possible but i did know she was wearing shorts (or maybe a skirt, i can't be sure) sooo short that it was like he was just in a nightie. he was flailing his legs at me. He was squatting at times and shaking his booty in my direction while i looked away. he was talking to me in english, making small talk. he even sang 'Maging Sino Ka Man' to me ala ASAP or SOP! he was talking about me and addressing the crowd like he was in a show:
1. "Buti sinara mo yung ilaw kuya" (talking to the driver when the jeep went dark)
2. "Etong si kuya (me), di ko lang bibigyan ng load, bibigyan ko ng cellphone! (to which his colleagues replied "Pano mo gagawin yun e ikaw mismo walang cellphone!")
3. "Whereyooprom kuya? Bisitahin mo ko sa bahay ko. O punta ka sa club namin sa may DFA. Sa Parliament (i think). Kay Lacson yun, pag may dala kang 10 thousand pesos, pag labas mo ten pesos na lang, kulang pa pamasahe mo."
4. On his repartee with this other passenger: "Ikaw matanda ka na! Si kuya malakas pa."
5. "Pinagpapawisan na bay*g ko!"
6. And the usual "Lalake ako pare. Pa kiss nga."
the crowd wasn't much help, they were the ones egging him on to sit on my lap and to sing the Sharon Cuneta hit. And they were all laughing like mad! To top it all off, it was SUPER traffic. It took me twice as long to get to Rockwell but it felt like eternity. Good thing his attention was divided between me, this other older passenger which could be his real love interest, and what looked like a Japanese passenger in a taxi behind us who he was harassing. In fairness to him, he asked me if it was OK to do what he was doing. i just nodded silently. i didn't want to provoke him in any way! And i didn't dare take out my cellphone. :D
Good thing Rockwell eventually drew near and i tried to get out as defensively as i could. I'm sure they were all sad to see me go but i couldn't be more relieved. the movie was good, but i have to admit that the highlight of the night was the ride to Rockwell. the journey c ould be more memorable than the destination. :D
that's all cows! i hope you found happiness in my misfortune! hahaha. take care!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Summer 2008
Aaron and I have very different opinions about the term "room temperature". Unfortunately I got outvoted at home.. not to say that I was entirely defeated. By and by I've found ways to customize our 2nd-floor bedroom temperature. A special thank you to father science, for allowing Aaron to believe for over 2 weeks that it was due to the fact that *warm air rises*
Attempt # 4: "The dog did it"
Attempt #1: My Goodwill Donation 
Attempt #2: "but that's YOUR gym stuff"
Attempt #3: "There was no more space in the fridge"
Attempt # 4: "The dog did it"
Friday, August 8, 2008
lady bugs
everytime i go for a smoke here in our Atlanta office i get bitten by these tiny bugs. interesting enough, i found out that it only bites females. unbelievable! sexual discrimination!!
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